Tests

I have experienced that when a person takes up a cause and takes steps to proceed on the chosen path, he exposes himself to tests. These are the tests presented by the destiny. These are tests of a different and higher level. It is just like a person moving in the opposite direction of the wind flow. The force is too much to resist. And there are so many mental and behavioral changes that are automatically invited and invented when a path is chosen. For example, I have chosen the path of engaging with my inner voice on daily basis. Since I am proceeding on this path, I am also facing the resistance. I am getting busier than ever in my job responsibilities. At home I come all tired up. And I find my kids unusually active when I return from office these days. They and young and thus have so much attachment with me as far as their small-small wishes are concerned, the things which their mother, my wife, cannot do: such as a ride, or a long drive, on a bike.

This becomes harder to handle when I think of giving some quality time to other members of my family. Then there is some goal setting that takes place in my mind and I wish I could have more time in my daily schedule. And then I like to sleep, less. And due to this I wake up tired. 

There are two indications as far as I am able to conclude at the present state of affairs. The vision of becoming better writer and engaging with the inner voice is still not clear to me; in other words, there is no burning desire in me. Second, that, I am giving more attention to my distractions than to my goal. I think I can fix both these problems in just one shot. I think I need to bring my attention back from distractions to the work at hand, which is to engage with my inner voice every day, despite tests and trials, and distractions. Soon all of them will vanish and there will exist only me and my inner voice; just both of us. And then there will be calm, clarity, understanding, wisdom, happiness, and abundance.